Episode 22: Tara O'Brien: Drama Free ADHD - How to Free Yourself From the Chaos and Fighting That Comes With ADHD.
My special guest today is Tara O’Brien. Tara is here to share with us all about…
Drama Free ADHD - How to free yourself from the chaos and fighting that comes with ADHD.
Tara O’Brien has helped thousands of students, teachers, and families overcome the challenges of growing up with ADHD. She’s been successful because she lives it every single day with her husband and children who have ADHD, gifted, and anxiety diagnoses. Between home and school, there’s not much she hasn’t seen, and her approach to
Living with and loving people with ADHD empowers people to take control of the only thing they can in today’s chaotic world; their own mindset.
Tara uses what she calls the O’Brien method and she shares with us how that came about, how it works.
The O'Brien Method is a deeply personal and strategic approach to living with and loving someone with ADHD.
You've been putting all of your energy into dealing with the challenges at hand because you know you want things to be different. And frankly, you're frustrated, exhausted, and scared because nothing is changing.
Instead of trying to change your child, The O'Brien Method focuses on you, the parent, the heart of the family, and how you can show up powerfully and make specific choices that get ADHD out of the driver's seat so you can positively transform your entire life.
The O’Brien methoc has three components to it. Awareness, vision, and empowerment. It came about due to her being married to her husband who has ADHD, and a son who has it, and she found that most of the time they were in a problem-solving mode. Something would happen, and they would fix it. Something happened again, and they would fix it. They were layering system upon system, yet not getting much traction and became frustrated.
The emotional level in their home was extremely high, it just became exhausting. Then she realized that her trying to fix things constantly, keep lists, calendars, etc was making things worse. She shares how doing this made her husband feel as if their relationship was not husband and wife, but mother and child. It was just unhealthy! So they had to stop, reassess, and figure out what they needed to fix.
Tara shares how she has continued to refine the O’Brien method through her own life experience. She has learned to find the vision you desire and be proactive, not reactive.
I asked Tara what are some of the biggest mistakes that parents make when it comes to supporting people with ADHD?
What she sees in her work is one of the biggest mistakes parents make is they try to fix the problem without really looking at the underlying cause.
Another mistake parents can make is seeing the behavior as something to address rather than behavior as a communication. It is on us as parents to listen and be curious!
If you experience a lot of yelling, arguing, and pushback with your ADHD child, Tara explains that yelling comes from the deep desire to be heard, and when we are not feeling seen and heard, we get bigger and louder! So simply, HEAR YOUR CHILD! Let them know you are listening.
I hope you enjoy today’s episode!
you can find out more about Tara by visiting her website here.
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