Episode 36: Daniel Linder: A New Paradigm of Understanding Addiction

Daniel Linder is a returning guest to Mums on a Mission Podcast! 

Daniel is a “self and relationship-based therapist,” practicing in the San Francisco Bay Area and Austin, Tx for the past three plus decades, doing relationship therapy and training with individuals, couples and families.  

All of his work, passion and purpose is about empowering the transformation of relationships by developing the relationship with Self; to elevate consciousness. increase connect-ability and ignite creativity. 

I had Daniel on Mums on a Mission Podcast in Episode 10, where we talked about creating a real, authentic connection with our children.

Daniel Linder is an expert in addiction. Today he is sharing his journey to how he got there, explains how alcoholism is the most common addiction he saw in prisons, and how it finally became labeled as it is - a disease. 

The treatment of alcoholism was so weak and so limited. It was basically about sobriety and ‘just say no’. 

Daniel turned this philosophy around to ‘an addiction is a relationship with a means of relief of pain from unmet emotional needs.’  

So this really is not a biological addiction. This isn’t a disease such as cancer, or diabetes or any other medical issue.

People become addicted because they’re in a lot of pain. The more pain they’re in the more they need to relieve the pain and the more likely they are to become addicted. 

The relationship model of addiction applies to ALL addictions. It began with alcohol and then began to apply to other substances such as cocaine, prescription drugs, and volume. Then there are addictions to sex, porn, and gambling.

A lot of what Daniel teaches comes from his own experience. He lived it and knows it from inside himself, but also knows it through study and clinical work. 

When addicts build more of a relationship with themselves and are therefore able to create more connection, intimacy, and love in their lives, that nourishment fuels their purpose, liveliness, and all their creative energy, and they’re no longer driven by the pain of unmet needs. They will become less pre-disposed to becoming addicted. They will become less enamored with those means of relief. They won’t be needing the means of relief and they won’t get as much of an escape or excitement from those means of relief. Because their need to relieve pain will be tremendously diminished. 

Daniel's model is so rich and helpful to people in understanding where their addiction is coming from. The way Daniel handles addiction makes it seem so much more approachable to get out of addiction than the saying “Just say no.” 

There is so much to be said about his model. Unfortunately, we did not have time to get through all of it the stages of his model, so please go to his website HERE to find out more and get a copy of his books on Amazon HERE. 

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julie hatch